CHECK OUT MY AWESOME LIGHT BULB JOKES BY CLICKING EACH CARTOON

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sweet Jesus, YES!

The long-awaited day is upon us. More analysis of the abortion that was the Cerino era to follow.

Mike Cerino Resigns at W&L to Return to Limestone

LEXINGTON, Va. -- Washington and Lee Athletic Director Mike Walsh has announced that Mike Cerino has resigned as Head Men's Lacrosse Coach effective June 30 to return to Limestone College as Head Men's Lacrosse Coach and Associate Athletic Director.

"It has been a genuine pleasure to work for Washington and Lee University during these last five years," said Cerino. "I have enjoyed coaching a wonderful group of student-athletes and will miss my associations here. This position at Limestone provides me the opportunity to redirect the lacrosse program and move into athletic administration, while providing a unique opportunity to join my extended family in South Carolina."

In his five seasons at Washington and Lee, Cerino posted a 53-24 (.688) record and won two Old Dominion Athletic Conference Tournament Championships. His 53 wins over his first five seasons are the second-most by a W&L coach in school history, trailing only Jack Emmer's 60 victories. Cerino helped maintain a level of success that has seen W&L post 17-straight winning seasons, the best stretch in program history.

Cerino's initial squad in 2002 notched a 14-4 overall record, won the ODAC Championship and advanced to the NCAA Semifinals. His 2004 team also went 14-4 overall, was the first team in ODAC history to go undefeated through the conference regular season and tournament, and advanced to the NCAA Quarterfinals. Additionally, Cerino's three NCAA Tournament wins are also tied for the best in program history.

"We thank Mike for five years of outstanding service to Washington and Lee University," said Walsh. "He has been an excellent coach and an exceptional emissary for our athletic department and University. We are very proud of the accomplishments of his teams and wish Mike every success in his new career opportunity. We are pleased that he leaves us with a program that is healthy and forward looking."

Cerino founded the lacrosse program at Limestone in 1990 and established it as one of the top Division II programs over 11 years, helping the Saints win 2000 National Championship.

Washington and Lee graduates just two players from its' 2006 team that went 7-6 overall with five losses to programs ranked in the Top 10. W&L returns 89.5 percent of its' scoring and five all-conference players, including the entire starting defense.

A national search for Cerino's replacement will begin immediately.

LAVAR AND THE G-MEN ARE GOING TO FUCK THE NFC EAST UP BIG TIME

THAT IS RIGHT, BABY, READ IT AND WEEP. YOU ARE ALL FUCKED. BIG TIME. ESPECIALLY YOU, THE DEADSKINS. FUCKED WITH A CAPITAL F. HAVE FUN GETTING LAMBASTED IN THE WASHINGTON FAGGOT POST FOR SUCKING MONSTER PENIS. THE GIANTS ARE GOING TO ROLL AND THERE IS NOT A FUCKING THING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two Brothers

Having nothing better to do at the moment, Cookiepuss went to go see how his brother Sisyphus was doing.

“What’s up, man?” asked Cookiepuss.

“Just playing this video game.”

“Which one?”

“Faggot Quest.”

“Still?”

“Yup.”

“The Sierra game. The one where you try to get Leisure Fruit Larry to have gay sex?”

“That’s the one.”

“And do you still always get to the very end and right when you’re about to have some big gay sex and finish the game you mess up and have to start all the way back at the beginning?”

“Happens every time.”

“So why don’t you just quit?”

“Good idea. I’ve never been the biggest fan of faggots to begin with.”

And Sisyphus turned off the game and stood up for the first time in an eternity.

“It’s about time,” said Cookiepuss. “Hey, do you want to go get some ice cream cake?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” said Sisyphus. “Man, you really love your ice cream cake, don’t you?”

“I am ice cream cake.”

“True, but is there anything then that you don’t love?”

“Yeah, iPuds.”

“You mean iPods?”

“Well sorta, they’re iPods that have been masterbatized.”

“What?”

“An iPud is an iPod that someone has physically used to masterbate.”

“You mean people will stick an iPod up their anus for sexual stimulation?”

“No, I mean people will sit there and jerk off their iPod. You see, some people just love their iPods so much that instead of using an erect penis to masterbate with, they get aroused by friggining their iPod off until they have an orgasm.”

“So people actually do that.?”

“All the time. Just yesterday I was sitting on the bus when I saw some guy do it. Made a real mess. “

“Jeez. You’d think they’d just fellate the darn things.”

“You’d think. Real sickos out there.”

“Yeah really.”

“Say, is that our parents I hear coming home?”

“I believe it is.”

“Cool. Well, I’ll go kill Dad then.”

“And I’ll go have sex with Mom.”

“Okay, sounds good. See you later.”

“Later.”

And that is how Sisyphus and Cookiepuss Oedipus spent the rest of the afternoon.

The End

chippereeno, veetoe, myself and nallsiepoo's thumb at preakness 06.  

you suck the towering boner of a cyclops

vidosh, your stinking size-16 clod hoppers are in the trunk of my car. retrieve them so as to remove the stench of death from my car. why did you leave them at nallsie-poo's anyway? they were right by the door from which you egressed. he made me take them with me. you suck.

in non-equine preakness casualties, my left big toe is seriously fucked the fuck up. it looks like vito spadafore's anoose after johnny cakes has his way with it. so no more red rockets flag football or comapny softball for me until my injury heels. (get it!?)

Taste it ESPN.com! I rule supreme!

The original espn.com article:

click here



My email response to the article:

-----Original Message-----
From: Big Blogger [mailto:bigblogger2k5@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 02, 2006 5:34 PM
To: Philbrick, Michael W; Darcy, Kieran D
Subject: Yankees Red Sox rivalry

here's an easier way to sum up the entire history of everyone involved
in the red sox yankees rivalry:

YOU ARE ALL FAGGOTS.



ESPN.com's reply:

From : Philbrick, Michael W Michael.W.Philbrick@espn3.com
Sent : Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:12 PM
To : "Big Blogger" bigblogger2k5@hotmail.com
Subject : RE: Yankees Red Sox rivalry

Wow you really nailed it with that one.
I wish I had your gift for this.
Oh, and the gift to not have the guts to sign my own name.



My finishing blow:

OK FAGGOT

Ha Ha!

This comic strip is a perfect analogy for my life!

happy anniversary fagorts.

HAS ANYONE SEEN RICHIE? DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHY RICHIE DID BOBBY LUPO?

CLICK THIS IT IS A FUCKING AWESOME PICTURE

also vidosh emailed me this link with the caption "sign me up"

what a perverted piece of shit.


PANDA + SEGAL = FRIENDS

The Stupid Da Vinci Code for Fagorts

With the new movie coming out, Dan Brown's asinine tale of bullshit will be getting more pub than ever, and probably more criticism from the catholic church as well. While normally I enjoy anything that gets the pope's panties in a bunch, i agree that this story must be stopped, though for slightly different reasons than ratzinger. Cutting to the chase, here is why:

THERE IS NO SUCH SCIENCE AS SYMBOLOGY

the whole plot revolves around some asshole finding out clues to some big christian secret based on the fact that he is an expert symbologist. the is completely retarded. "oh look, two triangles, one points up and must represent a penis. the other points down and is a vagina. i have just unlocked the 2000 year old secret of jesus." THAT IS IN THE BOOK, I AM NOT KIDDING.

what a bunch of dumb shit. now people are going to think they too can be experts on 'symbology' and start blathering on about the different meaning of a circle. "Hey look, a V, Da Vinci used to use that in his works to represent motherhood and openness. It is a powerful symbol evident across divergent cultures and times." Oh no shit? Well guess what asshole, it's two fucking sticks, it could mean any fucking thing you want.

It's almost as bad as when Jurassic Park came out and millions of people suddenly became experts on DNA and the science of dinosaur cloning. No, I take that back, this is worse. WAAAAY worse. Go fuck yourself, Dan Brown.

dee tings on dee end of dee legs

both my company's softball team and the local rec flag football team i'm on suck tremendous ass. they excel at only one thing and that is defeat (GET IT?) . it's a good thing any last remnant of competitive spirit left in my body was crushed into oblivion way back in my senior year of high school wrestling.

here is a true team of heroes who know nothing of de feet.

speaking of high school wrestling, here are some slogans we had on our team shirts :

"ALTITUDE
is determined more by
ATTITUDE
than by
APTITUDE"

"PRESSURE
breaks the weak or forms the
DIAMOND"

"SUCCESS is a CHOICE"

"CHAMPIONS
don't take orders from little
BABY FAGORT PENQUINS
and people who went to the
CHAMINADE HIGH SCHOOL FOR DORK-ASSES"