It has been two years since Farthammer's last preformace, and Robocop was getting bored.
"What is it that I shall do with myself today?" Robocop asked himself.
Knowing that as a dickless cybog he couldn't simply idle away his time frigging himself off to Cinemax OnDemand, even though he did pay for that extra in his cable package. Instead, Robocop decided he would flip through the OnDemand music channels in hopes that something would ignite his fancy.
After several aborted efforts in the hip-hop category, Robocop found what he was looking for. The band was DragonForce and the song was Through the Fire and the Flames and Robocop's experience was transcendant.
Robocop immidiately googled DragonForce and found that they indeed were fan-fucking-tastic and that also they were in the midst of a European tour.
"The Band Dragonforce is perhaps the only band that can shred it thier guitars as hard or as fast as my band Farthammer once was to rock out. " Robocop thought to himself. "The double bass drum blows away that which is one of the last organic parts of my body and is my mind."
It didn't take long for Robocop to make up his blown mind and travel to see DragonForce's next preformance. He blasted out of the roof of his house with his rocket jets and flew all the way to Trevesio, Italy, and got their just in time to see DragonForce start the first set of their Inhuman Rampage World Tour.
But even before the first lick of Herman Li's thrashing solo Robocop knew soemthing was wrong. It some became appearant that something was more than wrong, it was Robocop's worst nightmare realized. It was the Mezzogiorno.
Robocop's greatest weakness is exposure to the culture of Southern Italians, and forwhatever reason, Niapoltians and Sicilians were flocking to the Veneto region to see the same show as Robocop.
Overcoming this nightmare scenario wasn't easy, but Robocop formulated a plan that would solve his problem. He would exterminate every last single one of the sleasy dago greaseballs.
Reaching for his gun, Robocop suffered his second terror of the day.
His gun was missing. Not wanting to countenance the subhuman slime surrounding him any longer than absolutely necessary, Robocop quickly retraced his steps to the last time he had seen his gun.
"Ah ha! It was to my ex-bandmate and former lead guitarist of Farthammer to which this gun's possesion was last given. From he who is the guitarist known as P.P. Pylman is from where I shall next extract it my gun," Said Robocop and he rocketed back to the USA.
Robocop burst into P.P. Pylman's bedroom where he found him frigging himself to Nickolodeon OnDemand.
"How is it that you have done what has happened?" Robocop asked.
"Oh, you probably mean your gun that I borrowed 2 years ago after our last show. Well look, I didn't even use it," said P.P.
"So?" asked Robocop.
"So nothing happened to it. Besides, I forgot to give it back to you."
"So?"
"So, I can get it back to you. It's just been missing for 2 years and I never told you about it. Big Deal! God, what is your problem?"
"Your complete lack contrition flys in the face of common decency is it my problem. Also a problem for me is your inability to admit you fucked it up like an idiot. For these crimes you will taste it what a real Farthammer is."
Robocop than grabbed the scrawny P.P. by the neck and placed him his head between his legs face up.
"What are you going to do, fart on me? You don't even have a real butt!" said P.P.
Then Robocop crushed P.P.'s head into oblivion with his thighs, grabbed his gun and spirited back to Italy.
Robocop was still able to watch the entire second half of the DragonForce show and murder 30,000 Italians.
"This was a day of perfection," Robocop said to himself. "Nearly perfection."
