Mid Term Report card for Aqua Velva Fantasy Baseball League
F A R T H A M M E R: A+
Although screwed by injuries, Team Farthammer has been the class of the league and is universally expected to be eventual champion. Now that the perceived blunder of placing All Star game starter Brad Penny on waivers can be reviewed as a magnanimous gesture to those less competant at drafting in the league, the legend of Farthammer's grace grows.
Van Slyke's Whiteness: A-
Incredibly lucky draft backed by shrewd waiver pick ups obviosuly aided by some gay roto service you pay $20 a month for. Would have been a solid A but I blame Pittsburgh and you by proxy for all the stupid shit that happened during the All Star game including Hoffman's boner.
Goob P1stols: A-
You have reaped the rewards of percistancy and tenacity. You also have been the best at updating your smacktalk regularly, although more often than not it is less than intimidating. The question remains if you will be able to sustain an assult on Polena's until now impregnable pearch atop the leaderboard now that you have a job and can no longer commit 8 hrs a day to the league.
Sczui Mi Scuzi!: B+
A lack of respect and a surplus of pride has kept you from challanging the "Big Three" teams who are currently ahead of you. Blaming autodraft for your slow start was also a cause for a drop in grade. What's next, you couldn't make a roster move in time because a Hurrican destoryed your South Florida home? Time to smarten up, Joe, smarten up.
Groundhog Hunters: B-
It just goes to show that jagging off to clips of Redskins mini camp on Comcast Sports Net doesn't help in Fantasy Baseball. Maybe if you sepnt less time dreaming about sharing a jail cell with Sean Taylor and more time trying to actually know something about baseball you wouldn't have such a horrible team.
PerimeterOfWisdom: C
I think we all expected better from our moneyballin' comissioner. The brightside, Kamil, is that your team has the most upside potential. Plus if there's anyone who will figure a way to cheat and win, it has to be you.
Flesh Missles: D
Keene leads the league in roster moves yet still sucks. Fucking pathetic. Also, Sand Diego Padre superfans such as yourself are held partly responsible for the All Star game horsehit. Finally, regarding team names, double entandres are out, blatancy is in.
Munshi Thugz: Incomplete
A man who runs his own sports book while in college does not have the bad a performance unless he isn't trying. For someone who is literally a career student at the University of Maryland, you haven't been going to class much. I'll see you in summer school, Farhan.
New Blood Soilders: F-
A complete and total failure and not worthy of critical assement, suffice to say current Triple A second baseman Anderson Hernandez is still in your starting lineup. Please kill yourself and Fireman Ed in a lovers' suicide pact.
Although screwed by injuries, Team Farthammer has been the class of the league and is universally expected to be eventual champion. Now that the perceived blunder of placing All Star game starter Brad Penny on waivers can be reviewed as a magnanimous gesture to those less competant at drafting in the league, the legend of Farthammer's grace grows.
Van Slyke's Whiteness: A-
Incredibly lucky draft backed by shrewd waiver pick ups obviosuly aided by some gay roto service you pay $20 a month for. Would have been a solid A but I blame Pittsburgh and you by proxy for all the stupid shit that happened during the All Star game including Hoffman's boner.
Goob P1stols: A-
You have reaped the rewards of percistancy and tenacity. You also have been the best at updating your smacktalk regularly, although more often than not it is less than intimidating. The question remains if you will be able to sustain an assult on Polena's until now impregnable pearch atop the leaderboard now that you have a job and can no longer commit 8 hrs a day to the league.
Sczui Mi Scuzi!: B+
A lack of respect and a surplus of pride has kept you from challanging the "Big Three" teams who are currently ahead of you. Blaming autodraft for your slow start was also a cause for a drop in grade. What's next, you couldn't make a roster move in time because a Hurrican destoryed your South Florida home? Time to smarten up, Joe, smarten up.
Groundhog Hunters: B-
It just goes to show that jagging off to clips of Redskins mini camp on Comcast Sports Net doesn't help in Fantasy Baseball. Maybe if you sepnt less time dreaming about sharing a jail cell with Sean Taylor and more time trying to actually know something about baseball you wouldn't have such a horrible team.
PerimeterOfWisdom: C
I think we all expected better from our moneyballin' comissioner. The brightside, Kamil, is that your team has the most upside potential. Plus if there's anyone who will figure a way to cheat and win, it has to be you.
Flesh Missles: D
Keene leads the league in roster moves yet still sucks. Fucking pathetic. Also, Sand Diego Padre superfans such as yourself are held partly responsible for the All Star game horsehit. Finally, regarding team names, double entandres are out, blatancy is in.
Munshi Thugz: Incomplete
A man who runs his own sports book while in college does not have the bad a performance unless he isn't trying. For someone who is literally a career student at the University of Maryland, you haven't been going to class much. I'll see you in summer school, Farhan.
New Blood Soilders: F-
A complete and total failure and not worthy of critical assement, suffice to say current Triple A second baseman Anderson Hernandez is still in your starting lineup. Please kill yourself and Fireman Ed in a lovers' suicide pact.
posted by Anonymous | 8:21 AM
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