El Pato's Believe it or not

1) Me and a friend decided late at night to convince another friend to let us use her hot tub. We snuck in despite her protests and sleeping family. Unfortunetley, instead of our hot friend coming out and getting in the hot tub with us, her Dad came out. Though not drinking at the moment, I was drunk, and I freaked out. I tried to run away barefooted and slipped down her gravel driveway. I cut the hell out of my hip and spend he rest of the night bleeding all over the inside of my friend's car.

2) After wrestling season ended my junior year I went out with most of the team to Harold's Deli in Edison, a restaurant famous for their rediculously oversized portions. We go there because we were finally done cutting weight (I was down to 160lbs) and were looking forward to gorging ourselves. Being the competitive maniacs that we were at the time, we all got into a contest to see who could eat the most. I tried to finish off a bacon cheeseburger the size of a basketball and get really really sick. I threw up all over the parking lot, cursing the the sport of wrestling.

3) I got drunk for the first time at at a party in my friend's house. I ended up in his shower with my clothes on and then walked around the party sopping wet letting everyone know "The shower is cold, and wet." Later on while blacked out I peed in the corner of my friend's parent's bedroom. All of my friends put "Spey PITC" in their yearbook quotes, which stood for "pissed in the corner."

4) After scoring two touchdowns and having what was to be the best fotball game of my life, I went out with the team to a house party. My stock was unusally high and I start up with one of the cheerleaders. Once we were alone, I move into what I assume would be a sweet make out session. Instead our teeth painfully hit before our lips do and extreme awkwardness ensues. I go home embarrased and alone.