From the Depths of Yonder Grizzled Taint

"Well you can suck and fuck for freeeeeeeee!
But you better not take it from meeeeeeeee!
Cause it was real farthammer BayeeeBeeeeeeeeee!"

Robocop finished his spine shattering rendition of Farthammer's lastest song Yonder Grizzled Taint with the rest of his Farthammer bandmates, which now included Andrew W.K., DragonForce and Ronald James Dio.

"We are a powerful force Farthammerers. Dio, you belted them out the lyrics with the lungs of a 57 year old, rather than of a man of 65 years. Impressive," said Robocop.

"Don't go there Robocop," snapped Dio. "Let's change topics. How bout you tell the rest of the band when's the last time you got some of the FUckin PUssaaaaaaaaay!"

"It has been for too long of a time, even for my meager bonage rates," replied Robocop. "I will need to soon fuck it again the pussy. I will try to sex it with that girl on whom I have had a huge crush on for the longest time."

"The one who when you're around her you always act like a huge FUckin PUssy?" asked Dio.

"Cool it now, Dio. Least you would enjoy me fucking it your butthole."

Robocop left band practice before the discussion of his love life went any further. He knew full well that the conversation would inevitably turn towards his inability to have any sex with anyone, owing to him being a dickless cyborg. Nonetheless he went to the coffee shop where the girl on whom he had a crush worked and attempted to woo her.

Robocop is a spaz, of course, and obviously failed miserably.

At the next band practice Robocop was noticeably forlorn.

"Robocop, why don't you shake it off and stop being such a FUckin PUssy. Bitches aint nuthin but ho's thats why I never mess with them."

"Shut it the fuck up. You do not know awful I feel. Also you have been married twice."

"Robocop, grow up. Listen, my sister's friend a big fat slut, you'll lover her. She's coming to watch today's practice and even if you can't be with your dream woman at least you can get some of that FUckin PUssy."

Dio's sister's voluptuous friend did show up and she and Robocop got along real well. She was cool and Robocop didn't feel any pressure when he was around her so he seemed much cooler. After a great day of hanging out Robocop realized he hadn't yet learned the young lady's name, so he asker he what it was.

"Plumed Melons," She replied.

"Plumped Melons," said Robocop slowly.

"That's it. I was named by my father, Dick Titties."

"My friends used to call me, Murphy. But now, I shall too be Dick Titties," stated an inspired Robocop.

And the two fell deep in love, thus proving the old adage, 'a man can love a fatty, even if he can never get a boner'.