Red Rockets Update

There will be no update this week because your humble reporter took the weekend off to catch up on some reading. I just completed the 2nd book in a wildly popular children's series, on which I will now report.

Hairy Pooper and the Chasm of Secretions

Hairy is idling away the summer at the Dorkley's residence until his friend Rod shows up to take him back to the Hogballs Academy of Fucking in his flying dildo. They stop on the way to pick up some babes and both take turns driving while the other recieves smooth handies in the back seat.

Once at Hogballs, Hairy meets Rod's sister, Vaginny Sleasley, who is all after Hairy's junk. Before she can bed the studly boy wizard, however, she inadvertandly opens the Chasm of Secretions, slathering everyone around in sweaty sex juices. The Secretions start pertifying everyone's wood and soon everyone except Hairy is locked into a constant cycle of fucking and sucking. It turns out to be all part of Hairy's arch nemesis Lord Malfart's plan to keep Hairy from tasting Vaginny's sweet hair pie.

Hairy, however, is able to weild his magical dong bone to summon the Monsters of Cock, who do battle with Malfart's evil Frankengine. Hairy is victrorious and the Chasm is closed. Malfart is told what's what and Hairy gets to work beating Vaginny's tight poonanny up nice.

The End.