No Man is an Island
A One Act Play
It is 6:30 a.m. on a early September day. The birds are chirping, the sun is breaking over the horizon, it is the first day of school for the bastard children of New York. Tucked in nice and tight in what he wishes were a race car bed, but is actually a Hagen Daas Truck bed since they did not make race car beds big enough for him, The Dosh slumbers gently. Soon he will awaken to begin his new life as an educator.
The Dosh: (sits up quickly, startled by a loud knocking sound. Confused at first, but soon realizing the now all too familar sound he stomps downtairs and throws open a door.) Mom, I know you and Mr. Buttafuco can only re-arrange furniture when dad is out driving all the minorities around Queens on his bus, but do you have to do it now? I mean it's not like usual where I can just lie around the house all day and give myself HJ's while looking at pictures of Reddy, I have to work today.
Long Island Jane Vittoe: (wiping the sweat from her brow) Dosh, you know how your dad hates it when we re-arrange the furniture, now just go eat your usual breakfast for 3, and as for you mister (turns to Joey Buttafuco) you're not done eating.
Joey Buttafuco: Hold on there a minute, I want to talk your boy, besides its not like you're built like Amy Fisher these days. Dosh, what are you doing with yourself?
TD: Well, I am teaching "English as Second Language" classes in Chinatown. You know with my year in Japan I really gained an affinity for Eastern cultures, and Eastern poon if you know what I mean. You might want to look into it, that is if you ever finish helping my mom with the furniture.
JB: I think that's great that you are doing that with your life. You know we really need to be more tolerant of other cultures and help our immigrant friends assimilate to America better, without losing their heritage. It's nice that you are helping them out, and you're right the sideways vag never hurts either.
TD: Wow, Mr. Buttafuco I'm impressed. Don't take this the wrong way, but with your IROC, gold chains, and proclivity for 16 year olds, I figured you for some pig-headed slob who was centered on himself, just like the rest of us FLID's.
LIJ: Will both of you ass holes shut the fuck up. Dosh you go eat, Joey B. this hole is not going to fill itself, errrr, I mean we got more furniture to move.
TD: Sounds good, i'm going to go frig myself and listen to talking heads. then i will take a shower and not dry myself afterwards and not use the bathmat and get water allover the place. then i'll leave al my clothes in a big pile on the floor and then cheat on some tests.
JB: Joe, you are my favorite kid. you will be just like me one day, at least we both hope so.
LIJ: Hey, before you guys get too chummy, theres something i want you both to know.
TD: What's that Mom?
LIJ: I am a man,
It is 6:30 a.m. on a early September day. The birds are chirping, the sun is breaking over the horizon, it is the first day of school for the bastard children of New York. Tucked in nice and tight in what he wishes were a race car bed, but is actually a Hagen Daas Truck bed since they did not make race car beds big enough for him, The Dosh slumbers gently. Soon he will awaken to begin his new life as an educator.
The Dosh: (sits up quickly, startled by a loud knocking sound. Confused at first, but soon realizing the now all too familar sound he stomps downtairs and throws open a door.) Mom, I know you and Mr. Buttafuco can only re-arrange furniture when dad is out driving all the minorities around Queens on his bus, but do you have to do it now? I mean it's not like usual where I can just lie around the house all day and give myself HJ's while looking at pictures of Reddy, I have to work today.
Long Island Jane Vittoe: (wiping the sweat from her brow) Dosh, you know how your dad hates it when we re-arrange the furniture, now just go eat your usual breakfast for 3, and as for you mister (turns to Joey Buttafuco) you're not done eating.
Joey Buttafuco: Hold on there a minute, I want to talk your boy, besides its not like you're built like Amy Fisher these days. Dosh, what are you doing with yourself?
TD: Well, I am teaching "English as Second Language" classes in Chinatown. You know with my year in Japan I really gained an affinity for Eastern cultures, and Eastern poon if you know what I mean. You might want to look into it, that is if you ever finish helping my mom with the furniture.
JB: I think that's great that you are doing that with your life. You know we really need to be more tolerant of other cultures and help our immigrant friends assimilate to America better, without losing their heritage. It's nice that you are helping them out, and you're right the sideways vag never hurts either.
TD: Wow, Mr. Buttafuco I'm impressed. Don't take this the wrong way, but with your IROC, gold chains, and proclivity for 16 year olds, I figured you for some pig-headed slob who was centered on himself, just like the rest of us FLID's.
LIJ: Will both of you ass holes shut the fuck up. Dosh you go eat, Joey B. this hole is not going to fill itself, errrr, I mean we got more furniture to move.
TD: Sounds good, i'm going to go frig myself and listen to talking heads. then i will take a shower and not dry myself afterwards and not use the bathmat and get water allover the place. then i'll leave al my clothes in a big pile on the floor and then cheat on some tests.
JB: Joe, you are my favorite kid. you will be just like me one day, at least we both hope so.
LIJ: Hey, before you guys get too chummy, theres something i want you both to know.
TD: What's that Mom?
LIJ: I am a man,
posted by rockyourface | 1:06 PM
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