Whilst gazing upon Vitta's homely visage, I am reminded of a Yeti's pale testicle

While the is no more appropriate word than epic to describe El Pato v. El Pinguino, it truely is the undercard to the earthshattering main event: Vitta v. Motivation

Probably the laziest slob in the known universe, the giant red panda known as the Dosh has tussled with this formidable opponent on many occasion; invariably the loser to Motivation's triumph. Although the Dosh has the power of Dollar Store 'Tussin on his side and a proclivity for women with sideways vagies in his corner, if there is one thing Vitta will never overcome, it is his inability to get off his fat fucking ass and do anything.

The last time Vitta attempted to tackle his longtime adversary, it went down as follows...

Combatants: Prostrate Vitta with Spanish language MTV at full volume vs Neophyte Christopher Lins and a cup of cold water serving as Motivation's proxy.

Round 1: Little Man Lins empties liquid contents of said vessel onto Vitta's large mass of human waste that is his flesh. Vitta has no response.

Round 2: Little Baby Lins unecessarily flees in terror as Vitta finally musters the strength to not get up and give chase but only to bellow the following riposte to no avail, "I'm trying to lie down!!!"

Round 3: No returning salvo by Motivation or it's proxy need be fired, as Vitta is already thoroughly defeated and resigned to slump back on the couch looking the destitute (and now sopping wet) mendicant as always.

Winner by KO, Motivation, who is once again able to thwart the Dosh's futile attempts at being something other than sub-human slime. Vitta is consoled by a 12 pack of Jimmy Dean Sausages and 4 gallons of gravy.