We Fucked It Up

Here is the inspection report for Aqua Velva (unedited in its entirety) emailed to us by our dickhead landlord after a mere 8 months of habitation. Bold highlights have been added for emphasis.

From: L. Evans <
To: wrightjr@wlu.edu, weigeld@wlu.edu, speya@wlu.edu, vittaj@wlu.edu, walkerd@wlu.edu
Subject: revised inspection report 108 Henry Street
Sent: Wednesday, October 9, 2002 10:25 AM

108 HENRY STREET Wednesday June 5, 2002
EXTERIOR: There is a 6-panel hardboard bedroom door that was completely shattered against the front porch railing (Back left BR door). Trash and paper cups on front porch. Top section of screening has been pushed on screen door. Right br window on front porch has been sprayed with paint or Christmas Spray – clean. Back right side of house near the LR has a completely destroyed copier? And trash around (See picture). Under back porch is littered with trash. Upper portion of back porch screen door is torn. Spring closure is also missing from screen door. Back porch is filthy – pressure wash! Need to clean the gutter.
FRONT HALL: Floor is filthy – covered with beer and dirt = very sticky. Hole in right wall under stairs. Food splattered on top door trim going into the living room. Sign taped to door casing “If you are hear for the party – F… Off, This is not a joke, Do not come inside”. Small hole in left wall under the light switch as you walk in. Two small holes on left near
LR. STAIRWAY: Stairs are filthy – covered with beer and dirt. Try to clean – will probably have to repaint. Third stair tread broken on on end – re-nail/caulk/paint. Chunk out of 6th stair tread on hall end. Food on walls. Ceiling busted near livingroom. Pickets all marked up – repaint.
DOWN RIGHT FRONT BEDROOM: Padlocked. Red paint on wall above doorway. Top right panel of the door is cracked – repair, sand and repaint door. Door jam is cracked from forced entry. Building inspector and our worker told tenant not to install padlock!
DOWN LEFT FRONT BEDROOM: Door padlocked. 6-panel hardboard door has 2 holes knocked in (Picture) One has been poorly patched. Patch, sand both areas and paint the door. Building inspector and our worker told tenant not to install padlock!
LIVINGROOM: Filled with five couches lined up as though they had a large meeting there. Also several chairs. Floor is filthy. Ceiling light fixture broken – shield, knob and one bulb is missing. Large 1.5-2’ square hole in left wall as you walk in – covered with duct tape. Two other small holes in left wall above another couch. Another hole in left wall behind the “Welcome Back College Students Bud Sign”. Plastic cups on floor. Walls have many knife cuts, writing, nail and tack holes everywhere. Tomato fight? On walls. Food on wall next 110 Henry. Switch cover is gone, receptacle cover broken. Receptace on 110 side broken. Spray string on walls.
DOWN BATH: New tile floor and shower are filthy!!! Entire room needs a good cleaning. Door needs adjustment.
KITCHEN: Floor is Black from beer dirt, etc.?- replace! Floor is very sticky! Hole in wall to the left as you walk in, covered with duct tape. Refrigerator has plastic cover on water/ice disposal broken. Several hole in wall surrounding the chimney – 4 covered with duct tape. Holes in wall sraight ahead as you walk in. Cabinets, countertop, stove, refrigerator are filthy! Trash, food, etc. on countertop. Wall cabinet door to left of sink has been broken in and cracked – repair/replace as needed. Fire extinguisher is missing. Ceiling light fixture has one bulb holder broken – replace. Smoke detector is missing. Hole in ceiling to left as you walk in (next to chimney).
DOWN BACK RIGHT BEDROOM: Door was destroyed in the Spring and replaced. We now had to re-key to master. Living room wall had a large hole behind poster punched in from LR. Patch/sand/repaint. Walls one each side of entry door have small holes in walls – patch. Left wall has food or something written on wall – try to clean and repaint.
UP HALLWAY: Large hole on right side as you walk down hall. Floor is very dirty – try to clean. May have to repaint. One of the ceiling globes is busted. 2 holes behind the bath door. Hole in left wall between the last 2 bedrooms. 2 Smoke detectors missing, one has battery missing. One spindle knocked out at top. Several sections of base on wall from stairway to the front of the house have large areas of paint off – repaint. Three smoke detectors missing outside bedrooms. Three screens missing. Base trim on left at top of stairs and under double window is damaged. BB Holes and food on walls.
UP RIGHT FRONT BEDROOM: Unlocked with lots of trash and some furniture. Clean up and organize room. Hole in floor at far corner next to stairs – repair. Sheetrock seems need work – Redo as needed – no charge. UP LEFT FRONT BEDROOM: Padlocked. Door has been beat up – paint chipped off. Repair and repaint. Door has been knocked in and cracked – repair as needed.
UP MIDDLE LEFT BEDROOM: Padlocked. The door has several marks and chip spots – repaint. Door has been knocked in and cracked – repair as needed.
UP BACK LEFT BEDROOM: Door open. Looks like tenant just walked out. Sign on wall to keep all items for Andrew C. Harding. Door has been knocked in and cracked – repair as needed. Nails thru the door and bent down – appears to be for a towel rack?
UP BATHROOM: Solid wood door has been cracked. Looks like at least 2 hammer marks on outside of door and kicked from inside. Try to patch, sand and repaint. Cover on light over medicine cabinet is missing and pulled loose from the wall. Cover on ceiling fan/light is missing. Trash all around the room. Tub is VERY filthy. Entire room needs a good cleaning. Latch damaged – won’t stay shut. Base trim to left of tub is broken. Screen and screw on section of sink gaucet is missing. Many nail holes
EXPENSES: $
155.00 Rough clean trash (inside/out)
132.50 Replace/paint 6-panel bedroom door – down back BR
18.50 Replace screen on front door
16.00 Repair back screen door
45.00 Pressure wash both porches
84.50 Repair holes in walls – 3 coats/sand
125.25 Clean interior – Reduced from
225.25 for plaster dust left after having to redo up right front bedroom
325.00 Repaint common areas
192.50 Refinish hall and livingroom floors
172.70 Damage to kitchen linoleum
94.50 Repair bedroom doors and jams
8.00 Replace 8 light bulbs
18.00 Replace livingroom light fixture
2.00 Replace 2 switch/receptacle covers
7.25 Replace broken receptacle
12.00 Repair kitchen cabinet door
18.00 Replace fire extinguisher
36.00 Replace 6 smoke detectors – Reduced from
54 for 2 less smoke detectors
28.45 Replace kitchen ceiling light fixture
$ 1,491.15 TOTAL DAMAGES = $ 248.53
Each DEPOSITS: $ 480.00 Walker Deposit Paid (Returning) $ 480.00 Spey Deposit Paid (Returning) $ 240.00 Wright Deposit Paid (Returning) $ 240.00 Vitta Deposit Paid (Returning)
$ 1,440.00 Total Deposit Paid