Whither Mayonannons?
It is times like these that try the souls of the Mayonnaise Cannons.
Moral is low at M.C. HQ. The roster is depleted not due to injury but to general malaise and the team is still sporting donuts in the win column.
Searching for ways to hoist themselves from the brink of oblivion, the Mayo Cannons have all resolved to redouble their efforts in two key categories: party; and bullshit.
Never again shall a fuck be given about anything that happens on the field. Never again shall a lopsided run differential keep the Cannons from out-cheering their opponents. And never again shall a Mayonon get dicourgaed just because some asswipe with batting gloves and 200 dollar cleats decided he needed to justify his pathetic exisitience by running up the score in a recreation county softball league.
The Mayo Cannons look to turn their season around this Friday night after an emergency mandatory beruit tournament was scheduled.
Ravid Reene urged his team mates to remember:
"We have every opportunity and every encouragement before us, to form the noblest purest constitution on the face of the earth. We have it in our power to begin the world over again. A situation, similar to the present, hath not happened since the days of Noah until now. The birthday of a new world is at hand, and a race of men, perhaps as numerous as all Europe contains, are to receive their portion of freedom from the event of a few months. Now lets get fucked up."
Moral is low at M.C. HQ. The roster is depleted not due to injury but to general malaise and the team is still sporting donuts in the win column.
Searching for ways to hoist themselves from the brink of oblivion, the Mayo Cannons have all resolved to redouble their efforts in two key categories: party; and bullshit.
Never again shall a fuck be given about anything that happens on the field. Never again shall a lopsided run differential keep the Cannons from out-cheering their opponents. And never again shall a Mayonon get dicourgaed just because some asswipe with batting gloves and 200 dollar cleats decided he needed to justify his pathetic exisitience by running up the score in a recreation county softball league.
The Mayo Cannons look to turn their season around this Friday night after an emergency mandatory beruit tournament was scheduled.
Ravid Reene urged his team mates to remember:
"We have every opportunity and every encouragement before us, to form the noblest purest constitution on the face of the earth. We have it in our power to begin the world over again. A situation, similar to the present, hath not happened since the days of Noah until now. The birthday of a new world is at hand, and a race of men, perhaps as numerous as all Europe contains, are to receive their portion of freedom from the event of a few months. Now lets get fucked up."
posted by Anonymous | 5:47 AM
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