Long Island and Southern Maryland need to be renamed

The current names for both locales are innacurate and unreflective of each's respective position as the worst of all United States' destinations. A proposed list of suitable replacements:

For the region formerly called Southern Maryland
Redneck City
The Stone Age with NASCAR
Gateway to Ignorance
Port Filthy STD Soaked Jean Skirts

For the land mass formerly known as Long Island
Dago Isle
Speghetti Slurping Greasball Wop Assholeshore
The Poorman's Corsica
The Land of A Thousand Down-Ups

For consideration for either worthless piece of topsoil
The Fart Fuck Factory
Shithead Paradise
A Place for Faggots
Not Unlike the Inside of My Ass Yes That's Right the Inside