Mayo Cannons Find Yet Another Team That Sucks Worse Than Themselves
Arlington, VA
September 7, 2005
The Mayonnaise Cannons extended their winning streak to 4 games with another double header sweep, this time against 507 Crew.
It was a series that saw, among other things, team captain Dave Keeeene finally established himself as the staff ace and the debut of the newest Mayonnannoner, Fletchdog.
"It was a great day for humanity," said utilityman Riffdogg. "Also I make 200 hundred thousand dollars a year."
The Cannons did not escape the series unscathed however, as their injury list grew by two members. Catcher Hunter Higginson suffered a thigh wound after getting attacked by the foul line on her way to first base, though many in the Cannon's dugout suspect a booby trap was planted by Team 507.
"I swear if I had been packing heat to the game like I usually do," said Hunter after her fall, "I would have made all those fuckers pay."
Former firstbaseman David Veedner was also scratched from the lineup, his injury being officially listed as "an extreme case of having a stupid buttface." After crying about his stupid baby butthead for hours, Veedner was told he would be making a rehab stint with The Mayonnaise Cannons Triple A farm team in Manassas, which seem to placate the tantruming overgrown baby man.
"Really?" Said David after hearing of the plans. "That's great, I love Manassas. Specifically, I like to be in Manassas. Honestly, I LOVE being in Manassas. The more time I spend in Manassas the better. I think my favorite thing to do in the world is to find Manassas and just spend hours massaging and rubbbing my face all over Manassas."
When asked how it was possible to massage and rub a suburban town in Northern Virginia, Dave responded, "There's a town called man asses?"
The MC's now look forward to their next match against Team Darwin. Commenting on her team's chances was power hitting thirdbaseman, Emily "Biggie" Small, "Obviously we are going to win two more games. I mean, who's better than us? Who? Well I'll answer the fuckin' question for you, bro. Fuckin' no one, that's who."
September 7, 2005
The Mayonnaise Cannons extended their winning streak to 4 games with another double header sweep, this time against 507 Crew.
It was a series that saw, among other things, team captain Dave Keeeene finally established himself as the staff ace and the debut of the newest Mayonnannoner, Fletchdog.
"It was a great day for humanity," said utilityman Riffdogg. "Also I make 200 hundred thousand dollars a year."
The Cannons did not escape the series unscathed however, as their injury list grew by two members. Catcher Hunter Higginson suffered a thigh wound after getting attacked by the foul line on her way to first base, though many in the Cannon's dugout suspect a booby trap was planted by Team 507.
"I swear if I had been packing heat to the game like I usually do," said Hunter after her fall, "I would have made all those fuckers pay."
Former firstbaseman David Veedner was also scratched from the lineup, his injury being officially listed as "an extreme case of having a stupid buttface." After crying about his stupid baby butthead for hours, Veedner was told he would be making a rehab stint with The Mayonnaise Cannons Triple A farm team in Manassas, which seem to placate the tantruming overgrown baby man.
"Really?" Said David after hearing of the plans. "That's great, I love Manassas. Specifically, I like to be in Manassas. Honestly, I LOVE being in Manassas. The more time I spend in Manassas the better. I think my favorite thing to do in the world is to find Manassas and just spend hours massaging and rubbbing my face all over Manassas."
When asked how it was possible to massage and rub a suburban town in Northern Virginia, Dave responded, "There's a town called man asses?"
The MC's now look forward to their next match against Team Darwin. Commenting on her team's chances was power hitting thirdbaseman, Emily "Biggie" Small, "Obviously we are going to win two more games. I mean, who's better than us? Who? Well I'll answer the fuckin' question for you, bro. Fuckin' no one, that's who."
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