Mayonnannons Explode all over Accenture's Face in Doubleheader Sweep
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Arlington, VA
The Mayonnaise Cannon franchise recorded it's first victories ever in a surpising sweep of the overmatched and outclassed Accenture Tigers. The Cannons started both games with big early innings and then held off the Tigers' comebacks down the stretch.
The Tigers, without former W&L varsity uberathlete Brian Gladyz, were left a gooey mess after the Cannons' bats' erupted with multiple streams of penetrating hits. The offensive outburst was almost all for naught, as the Tigers battled back to within 1 run in the second game after the MC's premature climax.
"That's never been a problem for me in the past," said team captain and lazy piece of shit, David Keane. "Honestly, ask the Ra, I always finish strong."
Disgusted by his captain's lacadaisical efforts on the field and in the sack, Matt "The Intimidator" Ogle decided to take matters into his own hands by rallying the team around his now trademark head first slide into third base. Though entirely uneccessary from a strategic point of view, the Cannons galvanized around Ogle's hustle.
"That was the most absurd thing I've ever seen in a game of softball," said outfielder Brendan Malone, who also made some nifty plays in left.
Providing the good luck charms (and obligatory female participants) to previously omnidefeated Mayo Cannons were recent additions Hunter and Tyler. The two ringers lived up to their jock-sounding first names by providing the extra spark needed to take down the Accenture Tigers.
"That was revenge for Enron," said Tyler at the post game team dinner. "Next time I hope they think twice before conducting massive accounting fraud. God I hate those fuckers."
Hunter was similarly pleased with the results. "Uh no, this is Liz King, you got us confused again," said Hunter.
Elite thirdbaseperson and clean-up hitter Emily Small summed up the team's emotions regarding their current two game winning streak: "Basically I think we're just lucky. Though not as lucky as this guy considers himself."
The Mayonnaise Cannons look to extend their streak next Wednesday with another two games against Team 507.
Arlington, VA
The Mayonnaise Cannon franchise recorded it's first victories ever in a surpising sweep of the overmatched and outclassed Accenture Tigers. The Cannons started both games with big early innings and then held off the Tigers' comebacks down the stretch.
The Tigers, without former W&L varsity uberathlete Brian Gladyz, were left a gooey mess after the Cannons' bats' erupted with multiple streams of penetrating hits. The offensive outburst was almost all for naught, as the Tigers battled back to within 1 run in the second game after the MC's premature climax.
"That's never been a problem for me in the past," said team captain and lazy piece of shit, David Keane. "Honestly, ask the Ra, I always finish strong."
Disgusted by his captain's lacadaisical efforts on the field and in the sack, Matt "The Intimidator" Ogle decided to take matters into his own hands by rallying the team around his now trademark head first slide into third base. Though entirely uneccessary from a strategic point of view, the Cannons galvanized around Ogle's hustle.
"That was the most absurd thing I've ever seen in a game of softball," said outfielder Brendan Malone, who also made some nifty plays in left.
Providing the good luck charms (and obligatory female participants) to previously omnidefeated Mayo Cannons were recent additions Hunter and Tyler. The two ringers lived up to their jock-sounding first names by providing the extra spark needed to take down the Accenture Tigers.
"That was revenge for Enron," said Tyler at the post game team dinner. "Next time I hope they think twice before conducting massive accounting fraud. God I hate those fuckers."
Hunter was similarly pleased with the results. "Uh no, this is Liz King, you got us confused again," said Hunter.
Elite thirdbaseperson and clean-up hitter Emily Small summed up the team's emotions regarding their current two game winning streak: "Basically I think we're just lucky. Though not as lucky as this guy considers himself."
The Mayonnaise Cannons look to extend their streak next Wednesday with another two games against Team 507.
posted by Anonymous | 6:14 AM
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