AQUA VELVA

A Salute to 108 Henry Street.

Name:
Location: NOVA, HELL

I mostly walk around in 80's Hair Band tee-shirts with sleeves cut off. I found this goes well with my mustache and black Jordache jeans. I also drive a late-model mini van.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

MAYONNAISE CANNONS START SEASON 0-2

August 24, 2004
Arlington, VA

It looks like it's going to be a long 2 months for the Mayonnaise Cannons who started their Arlington County Adult Co-Ed summer softball season by falling twice to Team Buddaka in the opening doubleheader of the C-2 Wednesday division.

"We suck," said thirdbasemen David Veedner. "I don't even know who some of the people on the team are."

So far as anyone can figure, the Mayonnaise Cannons roster consists of the follwing:

A dog eater, a psycho vampire, a duck, a penguin, the penguin's girlfriend, the dog eater's girlfriend, 2 unidentifiable W&L girls, Jared Fogle, Tom Trentmen and Mr. Riffe. There are rumors that 2 more females may be joining the ranks of the Cannons, for what reasons no one is sure.

"What a colletion of losers," remarked team captain and assembler of losers, David Keene.

Highlights of the game included Keene walking 6 straight batters to lead off the 1st inning of game one, Keene screwing up the batting order and costing the team a deadball out in the 3rd inning and an atmosphere of general awkwardness that permeated the team dugout.

While participating in the post game cigerette smoke, leftfield Tommy Trentmen summed up the team's feelings best, "Sorry guys, I never played baseball before."

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